If I’m being completely honest, I struggle with mom guilt and I cry the night before going back to work after every break… I would be lying if I said I didn’t cry after a four day weekend one time. Thankfully, I love my job otherwise I really don’t think I could do it. Regardless if you love your job or not, mom guilt is a real thing and leaving your babies with someone else all day is never easy.
I remember I actually cried for a week straight before returning to work after my maternity leave with Oakley. She was so tiny and I couldn’t imagine leaving a 6 week old baby with someone else when all I had done was snuggle her for the first 6 weeks of her life. I really don’t think I ever laid her down.
I could go on and on but the point of this post isn’t to make things worse, it’s to say I get it, I can relate, and the one thing that’s made it easier on me (besides enjoying my job and having a great babysitter) is…
“It’s harder on you than it is on them.” I’ve actually heard this from quite a few moms whose kids are grown now and I finally believe it. Oakley started at a new daycare this year and out of the four days she’s went, she cried twice when I dropped her off. Of course the first time, I cried the whole way to school. Thank you #pregnancyhormones. The second time, her babysitter said to me, “okay mom I’m going to rip the bandaid off. I promise you she stops crying by the time you get to your car.”
Every time that I picked her up in the afternoon she was so excited to tell me that she played baby dolls and cars. She usually wants me to play with her once I get there. Although a job you love and a wonderful babysitter makes things easier, the mom guilt is real and it’s hard but I really do believe that it’s harder on us than it is our kids. We’re doing the best we can and we need to encourage ourselves the way we would our other mom friends. Can you relate? Do you have any tips for overcoming mom guilt?
Ermalee Coonis says
The answer to no mom guilt is to never have children. Mom guilt is a real thing and it never goes away….even when they’re thriving adults. . ♥️♥️
Aww I believe that! Thank you for sharing!❤️❤️❤️
I can so relate! I went back to work when my son was 6months . It was incredibly hard, but 100% harder on me than him.
I’m so glad you can relate! Thank you for sharing! It does get easier doesn’t it?
I can totally relate to this from a few perspectives. I was a preschool teacher for years and remember always telling parents the same exact thing your babysitter told you. I also had to take 2 of my kids to daycare to go to work.
It’s so nice to be reassured from someone that’s been on the other side! Thank you so much for sharing!
Yessss. I saw a post today that really connects with this. It says “Regardless of what you do, mom guilt is real.” A stay at home mom thinks “I need to do more because I don’t work, and if I don’t do more to make up for the fact that I don’t work, then I am falling short.” A working mom thinks “I need to do more because I work, and if I don’t do more to make up for the time that I’m away, then I am falling short.”
It’s so true! Such a shame it’s that way but mom guilt is a natural thing and I think we just need to not beat ourselves up over it
I agree with a lot of the women above. I feel like we’ll always have guilt. It just comes with being a parent.
Very true! Kind of seems inevitable, we just need to not beat ourselves up over it
These photos of you two are the sweetest! & I remember being a single mom and having to work and felt like I could cry everyday. I truly understand! Thanks for sharing mama!
Thank you so much! It feels good to be able to relate and not feel like you’re alone. Thank you for sharing!
This is so sweet! I personally cannot relate because I’ve been a stay at home mom since she’s been born but I can’t bring myself to put her in a preschool 2 days a week. I want her to be around other kids and get used to it before school next year but I’m having total mol guilt. Other people have told me the same thing though. That it’s harder on us than them. You’re doing a great job mama!
Aww thank you! It’s interesting being on opposite sides but still understanding. I totally get you struggling with putting her in preschool 2 days a week. I say do it when you’re both ready and I’m glad this post was able to help you ease your mind a little with enrolling her in preschool ?
Latifah Henry says
Gosh I relate on so many levels with this post. With my oldest I returned to work when he was seven months and cried basically everyday. With the twins, I didn’t go back to work but instead back to school and that was even harder. I had to be away from them for classes, studying (lots of it) and internship too! It’s so bittersweet because we do it for them, but in order to do that, we have to be away from them. My only advice is know they will appreciate it and look up to you when they’re older! I’m starting to see that with mine as they get older and it’s so amazing.
It’s so interesting to hear from someone that’s been through this stage and is now seeing the benefits as they get older. I really appreciate you sharing your experience with me! Thank you!
Bria snyder says
I haven’t been able to leave my 3yr old yet even for a few hours…I can’t imagine how hard it is for you to leave for work!
It can be really hard but I just remind myself that it’s harder on me than her, she’s thankfully in wonderful hands, and she enjoys the social interaction. I’m happy for you that you get to stay home with yours!
I’m lucky enough to not work right now. I stay home with my kids.
What a blessing! I’m glad you have that opportunity!
Emily Manning says
I can relate to this so much. The guilt of being away because of work consumed me so much. It’s gotten better over time, but I definitely remember those days!
I think the mom guilt is inevitable but helps to put things into perspective and not let your emotions get the best of you. I’m glad you’re able to relate!
I’m not at work but I did go back to school full time…some days I feel guilty but I know it will be better in the long run!
It will definitely pay off and your kids will respect you for it when they’re older I’m sure!
Amanda Poore says
Thanks for sharing this Mama! I STRUGGLE with Mama guilt even sometimes to the point where I make myself sick. Thanks for reminding me I’m not alone!
I’m glad you can relate!
I can totally relate. Having breaks from work are great but always so hard. Sometimes I find myself crying at work because I rather be home with my babe. I know it’ll get easier but it doesn’t change how I feel now. You’re doing great mama!
I completely agree, I think the mom guilt from leaving them is inevitable. Thank you so much for your kind words!